When I awoke this morning or actually when i kept waking up periodically through out the night, I know it wasn't going to be a good day, even though i got to see my new room where i will be living all clean and thinking of all the possibilities that i can make it look like mine. besides that i was in tears most of the day.
I had been feeling better and such, but just today was hard, and my friends and family tried to talk me through it , but sometimes that's not enough, I am just inconsolable, i suppose i just really needed to cry.
I wanted to do a lot today, after going to look at my room and paying the rent and getting the keys and the gate code, i want to go on bike either have some sushi, or go to ross and find a cute outfit and i needed to go to walmart for some panties hehe, but nope my sad mood got the best of me and i just laid in bed watching sappy movies that made me cry more damn them lol, but of course i am like ugh why can't the man i love do that, why don't they really run after us instead of going well guess she's done where is the next girl that i am going to nail, why can't they try and be there and say but baby I love you and what can i do to get you to stay, i am sure there are guys are out there that will say oh i will do that, but i really highly doubt it, i don't think there is a true romantic guy out there, and you know why they hate chick flicks because they can never be like the guy in there that is sweet and caring and wants to take care of his love, I know i am just projecting, and that there are great guys out there and so on and so forth, but i am just going on my experiences.
I just don't want to do with my feelings right now, i try to talk to myself about them and tell my self everything is fine, stop crying and being sad, you have to move on get those feet walking in the right path, but then i guess it doesn't fully sink in and i am stuck in this pit of tears and sadness i just want to be saved, i want my prince to come knock on my freaking window and hold me so hard and kiss my lips and tell me I love you so much and i can't be with out you. Do you know how much that would make me smile, and feel me with such intense joy, it would kick my sadness ass. Then i wake up and i realize that is never going to happen as much as i think oh that would be nice if that happen and imagine it time after time, my prince will just think too far, gas is too expensive, it's late, traffic, this , that, and the other thing. which that just makes me sadder.
I get sad a lot, because i over think a lot of stuff, but i can't always run to my family or friends, so i've learned to self comfort and that's what i do. some things that help me get through my ruff times, is definitely music, i love music and sometimes the best songs can help me through take my mind off of the stuff that brought me down, also blogging helps, i love to write and i am really glad that i got back into, because it's already helping me soothing me, movies also help me but if they fall to close to the issue at hand then i think it just makes me cry more lol, so i have to be careful with that.
Thing that won't help, friends, sometimes they just can't get what i am going through and they can't really say anything that will pull me through, it's the same with family, they aren't in the situation so how can they really know what to say or what needs to be said, I appreciate their intentions, but i suppose partly it does help to talk about it and spill all that is on my mind and everything.
Today is just a sad day for me that's all, I may be the same tomorrow or be right as rain, but I will be at work and that will definitely get my mind off things, sorry for being all sad and down girl, but you know it happens, not everything is sunshine and roses as much as i would like it to be, just isn't the case.
Well i passed up dinner and now my tummy is growling, I hope your day and night is going far better then mine!!!!!
